Weekly Poll Winner: Paul Rudd

As much as all the contestants on last week's poll are formidable actor/comedians, I'm glad Paul Rudd was picked as number one. And that's for one reason:

Paul Rudd can fit his whole fist in his mouth.

Actually, that's not the reason. The reason is because Paul Rudd is the only actor of the five (Will Ferrel, Steve Carell, Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller) who is just now beginning to enjoy leading-man comedic success.

Rudd has actually been around longer than most people remember. He played Josh in 'Clueless' (almost 15 years ago now), was one of the few who to make it through 'Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers' un-slashed, played in two Shakespeare adaptations--'Romeo and Juliet' and 'Twelfth Night'--and enjoyed a run on 'Friends'.

But it wasn't until Rudd latched onto the Judd Apatow crew in 'The 40 Year Old Virgin', that people really began to remember his name. And in the last year-or-so, with 'Role Models' and 'I Love You, Man', has enjoyed leading-man success in comedies that people actually saw.

Rudd's comedic style of acting is very dynamic, which enables him to play different types of roles, whereas many leading men (like the others on last week's poll), often continue playing themselves in different movies. Will Ferrel (almost) always plays Will Ferrel. Vince Vaughn (almost) always plays Vince Vaughn. And I'll skip out on saying that Ben Stiller (almost) always plays Ben Stiller, because it's not almost always...it's always. That's fine that they do, because that works for them.

But the fact that Paul Rudd can play several types of characters separates him from the rest of the group. He does a good job playing the apathetic husband in 'Knocked Up', and an equally good job playing the devoted fiance in 'I Love You, Man'. And his stoner/surfer dude role in 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', despite it's brevity, is one of the more memorable parts of that movie.

He also does hilarious impressions, like his Robert Deniro in 'Knocked Up', or this one from 'Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story':



As a 40-year-old, Rudd still looks like he could play a 30-year-old, and at the time where he seems to be in his prime, doesn't show the signs of slowing down.

(I'm having a tough time finding more good clips...not because they don't exist, but they've all been taken off the web.)

Weekly Poll Winner: Conan O'Brien

Thanks voters, I knew I could count on you. For what, I'm not sure, but thanks anyways.

Conan O'Brien, former host of NBC's Late Night With Conan O'Brien, which premiered in 1993, and as of June 1, 2009, he is now host of The Tonight Show.

Although he comes off as pretty goofy, Conan is actually real, real smart. According to The Boston Globe, he graduated valedictorian of his high school, and then attended Harvard University.

While there, he wrote for, and served as president of the university's humor magazine, the Harvard Lampoon.

His gig on the Late Show enjoyed moderate success for the first few years, before his recurring characters and shtick were slowly ingrained and cemented into pop culture.

Some of Conan's memorable contributions:

- his celebrity interviews, on the screen that drops down, with the cut-out mouths
- the horny manatee
- the masturbating bear
- the Walker, Texas Ranger lever (which may be partially responsible for the Chuck Norris phenomenon over the past five or so years)
- Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

... and who could forget when he brought life to jar barf?



What I always found funny about Conan was how his jokes were usually pretty corny, but he told them in such a way that you knew that he knew they were.

He could stand there in his opening bit and tell a really stupid joke, that only got a few chuckles from the crowd, and he would acknowledge it. He is not your average stand-up comedian. With his sketches, props and characters, he was so much more.

His youth gave him the energy to come out every night and do that dance and jump that always got the crowd going. And, since he often didn't get the best guests (because what A-list celebrity wants to be a guest on a show that airs from 12:35 to 2 am?), his sketches were what drew people in, turned them into fans, and drew them back.

It was almost like a hybrid of a standard late-show, combined with a sketch comedy show. It wasn't conventional, but it worked.

(You can grab more Conan clips if you search for Conan on Hulu--NBC loves giving their stuff to Hulu)

Weekly Poll Winner: Butters

Despite early polling favoring Cartman by a large margin, the tallies rolled in with Leopold "Butters" Stotch in the lead in the weekly poll of your favorite South Park character.

Butters appeared in the first few seasons of South Park, but did not become a recurring character until the fourth season when his popularity among fans was discovered.

During the fifth season, he took on the role of being the kid Cartman uses to do stuff that he can't get the other kids to do with him. Because Butters is so naive, trusting and longing for acceptance, he usually takes part in Cartman's plots.

At the end of the fifth season Butters was given his own episode, "Butters' Very Own Episode," which led up to his inclusion in the main cast by the sixth season. He is chosen to take the place of Kenny, who is killed off in the fifth season to make room for Butters to be "the fourth."

As easily manipulated as Butters is, he often finds himself the butt of Cartman, Kyle and Stan's jokes. When he doesn't want to play along, they hit him with that deep, biting criticism: "Kenny woulda done it."

The sixth season is a big time for the development of Butters' character, who is ultimately revealed to be as confused and screwed up as a child might actually be in his situation.

His exclusion from the foursome after the first five episodes--after gaining weight and then being subsequently lyposucked; after the boys hang fake testicles from his chin and force him to go on the Maury Povich show--leads him to develop an alter-ego by the name of Professor Chaos. Professor Chaos' mission is to cause chaos to the world that has been so cruel to him.

Eventually, however, Butters continues to be reluctantly brought into Cartman, Kyle and Stan's games and misadventures. He is abducted by Paris Hilton, sent to "bi-curious" camp, locked in an underground bomb shelter and hit in the eye with a Ninja throwing star:




Despite all of his shortcomings, Butters is still about the nicest boy in the South Park Elementary 4th grade classroom. He has several tender moments, where you realize that he's just a confused and sweet little kid. Still, his friends abuse him and make him do things he doesn't want to do, and his parents are slightly abusive.

This persona from the boy named Leopold Stotch makes him one of the most complex characters on the show. As the seasons with Butters developed, so did the window into why he is how he is.

Professor Chaos is his one escape from reality, where he can actually attempt to get back at society for all the ways they've wrong him. His plots are usually senseless, but having a side-kick, "General Disarray"--or Dougie, a second grade boy--allows Butters to exercise some kind of control, of which he seldom has otherwise.




Butters' lovable personality, boyish voice and awkward manner have made him a staple of South Park in many of its 13 seasons--a tradition I hope will continue in the remaining years of the show.

Final Friday Filet: Carlos Mencia

It's the moment you've all been waiting for, for the past month. I know. It's the Final Friday Filet.

On the final Friday of every month, we at Laughasaurus will explore a failed attempt at comedy, and explain why.

And today, our fileted subject is Carlos Mencia, stand-up comedian and former host of Comedy Central's "Mind of Mencia", a program that, at its best, could only register at the mediocre level.

I'm not the kind of critic who doesn't give subjects a fair chance, or else, how could I even be considered credible in the least? I gave Mencia a shot. In fact, I gave the half-Mexican/half-Honduran several fair chances to make me laugh. It happened once, but never before and never again after.


Mencia was gracious enough to supply me with the ammo to begin a discussion of why his attempts at humor are a failure--his catchphrase "Dee de-dee." This is often used to give words to those whom he deems stupid, or dumbasses. It's kind of like saying "duh!" or "a-doy!" as so many of us did when we were in middle school.

It would be ok if he, maybe, used it once, ironically. But of course he doesn't. It would be hard for you to find an episode of his show, or a stand-up show where he doesn't "dee de-dee" something. His audiences (and I feel bad for them, because they're missing out on real quality comedy) even chime in sometimes--and the only thing worse than hearing Carlos recite his maxim is hearing a crowd chant it in unison. Dee de-dee!

But there's no better way to ridicule this man than to examine a specimen of his work...

Mind of Mencia
Black President
www.comedycentral.com
Race Jokes Political Humor Play Carlos Mencia Games

First, we'll start with the fact that this is a straight-up rip-off of a "Chappelle's Show" sketch from a few years earlier, where Chappelle explores, much more comically, the idea of an African-American president. And not only is it a rip-off, but if you watch it, you'll realize it's downright stupid.

As well, if you follow his comedy and show, you'll also start to realize that his jokes are almost all stolen--a phenomenon referenced in South Park's "Fishsticks" episode, where he steals a joke and plays like he made it up. South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were not just using Mencia for the hell of it. There is purpose to everything they do.

Then, after the moronic, racist sketch is over, he assumes that most people watching thought it was "hysterically ridiculous"--an assumption no comedian should ever make about their own work. Because once you personally state that you think your own work is funny, aren't you automatically less funny for doing so? That's what I think anyways.

Another sign that I'm, perhaps, not alone in my opinion on Carlos, is the way "Mind of Mencia" is filmed. If you'll notice, it's shot very tight on him, only on about the upper half of his body, and the camera never flips to show you the audience laughing. My guess here is that they're not actually laughing (laugh track, perhaps?).

If you watch Chappelle's show, they film his whole body, and often show members of the audience, because they are almost always laughing...and hard.

Here's the opening bit of one of Mencia's stand-up events. There's a little bit of 180 toward the audience, but it's from behind the stage so you can't really see the people.



I think using that as an opener seals the deal for me. Not convinced? Leave a comment, we'll chat.

Weekly Poll Winner: Superbad

Thanks for voting, voters. You've selected "Superbad" as the winner of your favorite Seth Rogen movie, which is good because not only does Rogen play in the movie, but he also co-wrote it.

The buzz about "Superbad" revolved not only around its accurate portrait of high school relationships, juvenile--yet hilarious--jokes and the fact that Rogen and his childhood friend Evan Goldberg (the two whom the story is based on) wrote it when they were about 13 years old.

Superbad seems to have it all...at least I think so. In just two hours, you get Jonah Hill ("Seth"), an obnoxious, overweight teen with a filthy mouth and imagination. You also get Michael Cera ("Evan"), who is pretty much reprising his awkward and sheltered role as "George Michael" from "Arrested Development." I'd bet he was picked for the role based on his tenure with "Arrested Development."

"Superbad" also brought a new pop culture phenomenon to the table in the Summer of 2007--McLovin. The total nebbish with a cracking voice gets drunk with cops, fires a gun and gets laid for the first time. It's as if Rogen and Goldberg were saying "Hey, if McLovin can do it, you can too. Don't give up, kid."

And of course you are graced with the wonderful comedic stylings of the dynamic Seth Rogen, who plays one of the cops--a cop in outfit, but at heart still a kid who wants to get drunk and have fun.

It always seems to me as if all of Rogen's roles were either written specifically for him, or at least with him in mind (Zack & Miri, Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, etc...). "Superbad," although he co-wrote it, was likely the same deal.

The way Rogen speaks his lines make them not even seem like lines. It's very natural for him to say things that are funny because I believe he is innately extremely funny. (And even if "Family Guy" says different: "This is the Seth Rogen gene. It will give you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny"; "How charming and chubby! I'm rooting for you.")

Here's a clip from Rogen's first scene in the movie with Bill Hader:



The banter between characters does virtually nothing to drive the narrative, but is where most of the jokes reside. Rogen and Hader's banter and discussions inside the cop car make for a great type of dialoge that you don't often see from cops. Jonah Hill and Michael Cera give you a pretty realistic window into the conversations that two 18-year-old guys would have on a Friday night.

Here's another one--one of everybody's favorite scenes (viewer discretion, there are some F-bombs up in here):




Other than that, come back tomorrow for some more Laughasaurus!

Movie Monday: City Lights

Today we're going back to the roots. The real roots. Alllllll the way back. The movie: Charlie Chaplin's "City Lights," from 1931.

Charlie Chaplin could be considered the man who invented screen comedy. He was born in 1889 and began in film when it was still burgeoning, in the mid-1910s.

Before the one-to-two hour film became the agreeable standard, he did dozens and dozens of short films in the 1910s, and directed, wrote, edited and produced many of them as well.

His major successes began in the early 1920s with movies such as "The Kid," which was one of the first where he defined his continuing role as the "Tramp." He appeared as the Tramp or a Tramp-like character in several of his most famous films, perhaps the most famous being "City Lights."

"City Lights" is the story of a poor tramp, and is undeniably one of the first romantic comedies. The Tramp falls in love with a blind girl who sells flowers on the street, while she mistakes him for a millionaire. When he finds out that the girl's rent is past due and cannot pay, he tries to win money for her in a variety of ways that ultimately make up the comedic plot.

As with nearly all of Chaplin's films, "City Lights" is silent, even though the technology in 1931 allowed for "talkies." Chaplin's comedic style was ingrained in silence and when silent pictures died out, so then did his career.

Laughasaurus worthiness:

Chaplin's roles were funny in how he was able to do so much without ever muttering a word. He, indeed, could have written "City Lights" with sound, but chose not to. If you watch it, you'll understand why it's better as it is.

His ability to create physical comedy, just using his body and a few props, was unmatched at the time and probably still today. Even more incredible was the comedic suspense he was able to create in a scene. Here's a familiar scene from "City Lights" where he uses comedic suspense:



His brand of physical comedy was, in fact, so hard to replicate, that when a stand-in in a chicken suit had to imitate his movements in another of his classics, "The Gold Rush" from 1925, the stand-in could not do it accurately enough, so Chaplin got in the suit himself.

Another famous scene, the Tramp here enters into a boxing match in order to win money for his love:



The ability to perform these feats of physical comedy and Chaplin's understanding of his appearance in a situation (with the bowler hat, no less), makes for unmistakable humor, and made Charlie Chaplin an unmistakable innovator of cinematic comedy.

Flight of the Conchords

I know, I know. You didn't collectively vote for Flight of the Conchords in last week's poll. But I think that's because, perhaps, many of you are not familiar with the HBO original show of the same name, and really just don't know what you're missing!

Hailing from New Zealand, Jermaine Clement and Bret McKenzie make up the Grammy-winning duo, whose awkward lyrics and situations oddly reflect an exaggerated reality.

Mostly dealing with women and relationships (and sometimes self-deprecating sexual situations), Bret and Jermaine sing about life as they see it through the eyes of two complete losers.

The show, which takes place in New York City, features Bret and Jermaine playing themselves as Flight of the Conchords, a severely unsuccessful parody music band who never can land a gig (partly because of their incompetent manager Murray, played by Rhys Darby), and who only has a single fan Mel, played by Kristen Schaal.

When they do have gigs--usually at a a place like a hotel restaurant, or an empy bar--Mel is the only fan present. She almost always waits for them outside their apartment, and almost always wears an FOTC t-shirt.

Murray, who works at the New Zealand consulate, holds the band meetings in his office. The meetings always begin with a roll call, for which Murray insists on everyone present (including himself) to say "present" when their name is called.

Laughasaurus worthiness:

As I usually try to break down what makes a particular show/movie/cartoon/article funny, Flight of the Conchords has two main draws.

The first, of course is their music. Focusing on their parody lyrics instead of their instrumentals or voices--voices, which seem to be intentionally awful--the lyrics often evoke the feeling of the situations they present in the topic, even putting the jokes out at their own expense. Here's a clip from the beginning of their first episode:



Other episodes feature songs that get much weirder and don't exactly reflect the situation at hand, such as "Bowie" and "Robots." Though I highly recommend checking out "Robots," it's hilarious.

The show is also funny because of the non-musical dialogue between Jermaine and Bret, and the other uncomfortable situations they find themselves in. They speak in very monotonous voices with very little inflection or excitement, they almost never laugh and rarely smile, and when combined with their thick New Zealand accents, it still manages to garner laughs.

Here's another clip from the first episode at a band meeting:



If you don't have access to HBO or a Flight of the Conchords DVD, here are some more suggestions to look up on YouTube (or your preferred online video viewing site):

- Hiphopapotamous vs. Rhymenocerous
- Business Time
- If You're Into It

Enjoy!

Weekly Poll Winner: Tenacious D

The votes are in, I've counted them (actually, Google counted them for me), and you've selected Tenacious D as your favorite parody music group.

If you're not familiar with Tenacious D, they are what has been dubbed a "mock rock" band, featuring sometimes over-the-top comedic actor Jack Black (School of Rock) and Kyle Gass.

Jack does a majority of the singing and Kyle does a majority of the guitar playing, but they both sing and play at times.

Their musical style spans from straight rock to lighter metal in the tradition of bands like Led Zeppelin, The Who and Kiss, among other influences. Other influences they named in an interview with "The List" are Jimi Hendrix, Dio, Bach, Mozart, Satan and Meatloaf. Not far from what you might expect them to say.


Their brand of rock--unlike other parody music groups--does not ignore the instrumentals and actual musical quality for parody-type lyrics (even though their lyrics are outrageous and very funny).

Kyle Gass is actually a sweet guitarist and Jack Black, as you probably know, has a way decent set of vocal chords. This gives Tenacious D credibility beyond the average parody group who might simply play chords to accompany their funny lyrics.

The band's music features wry, epic, ballad-type lyrics, that boasts more about how epic it is than what they actually display. They sing about marijuana, sex and they sing about rock. There are also often introductions and interludes where Jack Black will simply talk about something while the music plays.

Formed in the mid-90s, Tenacious D had minimal success before striking a deal with HBO for a show by the same name. In the early 2000s, they also released a self-titled album which featured memorable hits such as "Tribute to the Greatest Song in the World", "F*** Her Gently", and "Wonderboy":



In 2006, Tenacious D made a feature film called "Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny," about a magical guitar pick. They discover that the pick was used by all of the legends of rock, and was apparently forged from one of Satan's teeth.

(To clarify, Weekly Poll Winners do not receive Laughasaurus worthiness due to the fact that they are selected by the fans and not by me...it's only fair!)



**Special thanks to Katie Rabinowitz for coming up with this week's new poll: Favorite Seth Rogen movie.

Movie Monday: The Big Lebowski

I remember the first time I saw "The Big Lebowski" and how it completely rocked my world.

Writers/directors/producers/editors Joel and Ethan Coen (also responsible for such cinematic thrill-rides as "Fargo" and "No Country For Old Men") seem to turn almost everything they touch into gold.

"The Big Lebowski," although quite weird, and even more profane, is damn near close to a perfect movie.

It has a hint of detective fiction and a hint of "Alice in Wonderland," where our protagonist, Jeffrey Lebowski AKA The Dude (Jeff Bridges), finds himself falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. And as he falls, it just gets weirder and weirder.

Let's first start with an attempt to describe the plot:

The Dude arrives home one evening to find several idiot gangsters in his apartment, who shove his face into the toilet, urinate on his rug and ask: "where's the money, Lebowski?"

As it turns out, there's another Jeffrey Lebowski who is quite wealthy--unlike The Dude--and whose young trophy wife Bunny (Tara Reid), owes the money.

When Bunny is kidnapped, the other Jeffrey Lebowski commissions The Dude to his service to make a payoff to the kidnappers. But when The Dude's unhinged, Vietnam War-vet friend Walter (played so perfectly by John Goodman) gets involved, the payoff doesn't go as planned, and our detective/Alice in Wonderland is even more lost.

Laughasaurus worthiness:

There are several reasons why "The Big Lebowski" is worthy of association with the big green dinosaur. The first is something that the Coen brothers do better than most any other filmmakers in Hollywood: casting.

They have an innate ability to select probably the most perfect actors for roles in their movies (it helps that they often write the screenplays with specific actors in mind). Other examples of this phenomenon would be Frances McDormand in "Fargo" and Javier Bardem in "No Country For Old Men."

In "The Big Lebowski" it seems as if everyone cast was born to play that role. I don't think anyone could have done The Dude better, and absolutely no one could replicate John Goodman as Walter.

Here's a clip (sorry about having to sign in to see it--Hulu has the best clips and they're trying to be responsible with all the F-bombs)



As you can see (or as I hope you can see), everything John Goodman says is hilarious. His wacked-out way of turning everything into a personal vendetta and a reason to bring up his involvement in Vietnam generates fistfuls of laughter and helps to drive the story.

The writing is a second reason why I selected this movie today, for even the best acting doesn't hold up against a flimsy screenplay. Each character has their own unique way of talking, interacting and just plain being.

Many of the jokes are then written in and derive from each character's way of being. If Walter wasn't a complete nut, then listening to him yell about how he is "shomer shabbos" (observing the Jewish sabbath by not using electricity), wouldn't knock me off my feet from laughing. Needless to say, it cracks me up.

Here's another clip, and again sorry about sign-in for R-rated viewing:



Among other well-cast characters--such as Philip Seymour Hoffman, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore and John Turturro--trippy music sequences, mass confusion, and even a cameo from Sam Elliot, "The Big Lebowski" achieves everything its creators intended...and much more. Enjoy.

The Onion: 2008 Election Map, State by State

Laughasaurus worthiness:

The Onion is great with political humor. Good political humor is not something to be ignored, and at Laughasaurus we definitely do not ignore it.

This map was in the issue of The Onion that came out a day after the election, giving it the perfect poise to give its readers an ache in their sides from laughing. I remember when this issue came out, and I was standing by myself in the DC metro reading...and laughing.

I've always thought the true test of what makes something (anything) funny is when you are watching/viewing/reading it by yourself and it makes you laugh out loud. Laughter has strength in numbers. Pay attention the next time you watch a funny movie (perhaps Airplane!) with a group--then watch the same movie alone and notice the disparity.

That being said, and since reading The Onion is more often a personal activity (as is reading in general), when you catch yourself L-ing-O-L, you know you've got a winner.

This map was also very pertinent because, if you'll remember, in the weeks before the election every news site had their own map with voter predictions. Of course they were mostly colored red and blue for Republicans and Democrats, but then seeing a map with states colored "Seceded" and "Should feel lucky they got to vote at all after what happened last time," has got to be enough for a chuckle.

And as always, The Onion adds some more random, screwball options, like grouping Colorado, Wyoming, South Dakota, Nebraska and Kansas and calling it the "Forbidden Zone," or Montana's "Upset about being shaded chartreuse on the map," are classic unpredictable Onion moves.

So if you're red, blue, chartreuse, or still too scared to leave the voting booth and face election results (that's you, Mississippi and Iowa!), enjoy the map and thanks for stopping by at Laughasaurus!

Arrested Development: G.O.B. (George Oscar Bluth)

Today, I've decided, is as good a day as any to bring Laughasaurus fans into the exceptional world of "Arrested Development."

I'll just lay it out for you now, that I think the show is the the funniest and smartest show I've ever seen.

And what better way to bring those of you who are not yet fans into the inner circle than an examination of one of the show's--and I believe television's--greatest characters, the eldest son of George and Lucille Bluth, George Oscar Bluth II. (He goes by "Gob," pronounced like "jobe.") Over the course of the next months, I will slowly add to the Laughasaurus collection of "Arrested Development" family members and characters--slowly, so as not to overdo it.

Gob Bluth, played by actor Will Arnett, is the dumbest and most obnoxious of the Bluth children, as even their own mother admits: "I don't care for Gob," she says. Yet he is still the creator and center of many of the show's great running gags, a few of them being:

- the chicken dance (caw-ka-caw...caw-ka-caw-ka-caw)
- Franklin, his African-American puppet
- incompetent magic tricks (or "illusions"), and using "The Final Countdown" at every performance
- and the classic line "I've made a huge mistake."

But there's no better way to appreciate Gob than to see him in action:




Laughasaurus worthiness:

There's only so much great writing can do for a TV show without actors who can make the most of that great writing. Will Arnett does a magnificent job with Gob. He always seems to execute his jokes in the best possible manner, with perfect timing.

It is arguable that he is the best character on the show, but that's only because there is some stiff competition (everybody has their favorites, I get it).

But as I sift through Hulu clips, looking for another good one to embed, I realize that there is seldom a scene in which Gob appears where he does not exhibit one of his detestable, yet hilarious, characteristics.

Here's another one:



And a few of his memorable characteristics that add to his stellar comedic value:

- his deep, raspy voice
- blind confidence
- an utter idiot
- selfishness
- disregard for women
- mildly racist
- his inability to ever admit to a mistake

I realize that these might not be the most lovable attributes to find in a person, but when he his racist or sexist or selfish, no matter what he's saying, you can't help but laugh.

Limo-driving Pope

The Pope's limousine driver arrived at the airport one morning to pick up the Pope. He packed all of the luggage into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), but when he was finished, noticed that the Pope was still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," said the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," said the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protested the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope. Reluctant and uneasy, the driver got in the back as the Pope climbed in behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floored it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleaded the worried driver, but The Pope kept the pedal to the metal until they heard sirens.

"Oh, my God! I'm gonna lose my license...I'm finished!" moaned the driver.

The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the cop approached. The cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle and got on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he said to the dispatcher.

The Chief got on the radio and the cop told him that he stopped a limo going a hundred and five. "So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop. The Chief exclaimed, "All The more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop. The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

"Bigger," said the cop.

"Governor?" asked the Chief.

"Bigger," the cop said.

“Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

"I think it's God!" the cop said, almost dumbfounded

"What makes you think it's God?"

The cop didn't hesitate, and said:

"He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"





Laughasaurus worthiness:

I should first add that I in no way endorse the Pope, and this blog in no way endorses the belief in the type of God that could sit in a limousine.

But I like this joke because, like many good jokes, it uses misdirection before getting ultimately to the punchline--a pretty good punchline, too.

The Pope has probably as much security and protection as U.S. presidents. He may even have more because of that big glass-encased mobile he is always riding around in. Obviously, for the purposes of the punchline, the Pope could not be riding in the Pope mobile; it had to be a limo, where the subject is often hidden by the dark tinted windows.

Misdirection is used here to send you off down one path, expecting something completely different to happen, before laying down the unexpected punchline. Magicians use misdirection in magic tricks to make the viewers follow them one way, confuse them, and then reveal the trick.

With this joke, you are really not sure about the punchline until it is actually laid out. You're not even sure where this joke could possibly be going, because it doesn't have any of the expected elements of most jokes.

Weekly Poll Winner: South Park

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't totally stoked that the voters selected South Park as their favorite cartoon comedy in last week's poll.

I'm totally stoked.

South Park just so happens to be my favorite all-time TV show. I will attempt to talk about it in an unbiased manner, isolating its true comedic value away from my own subjective inclinations.

The creation of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park first aired on August 13, 1997 with the Pilot episode "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."

The show took off in the first season, enjoying a great deal of success as it followed the lives of four third-graders, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick in the podunk town, South Park, Colorado.

Now halfway through its 13th season, South Park has endured several stages of development before getting to it's current stage--growing more outrageous and offensive as it progressed.

The stages can be defined both through landmark episodes and often through the development of one character, Eric Cartman, which serve as turning points in that progression.

In the first season, both the show and Cartman were tame in comparison to what the show is like now. There was a slow progression through the first few seasons which came to a climax by the 5th with two episodes: "It Hits the Fan" and "Scott Tenorman Must Die."

In "It Hits the Fan," Parker and Stone were able to add a new word to their characters' uncensored vocabulary. The word was uttered 162 times in the 22-minute episode.

With Scott Tenorman, Eric Cartman goes from bigoted pain in the ass to criminal mastermind, leaving his "friend" Kyle admitting to Stan: "Dude, I think it might be best for us to never piss Cartman off again."

Here's the clip that defines the turning point:




After "Scott Tenorman Must Die" for the next few seasons, there was a great deal of outrageous plotlines, dirtier and more offensive jokes, and way more statements made about celebrities and the shortcomings of society. Cartman is a lot crazier, too.

Through the sixth, seventh and eighth seasons, the show crept slowly toward what I would define as the second major turning point in the series: Season 9, Episode #1: "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina." In it, the children's gay school teacher, Mr. Garrison, has a sex change operation (they call it a "Vaginaplasty"), Kyle has a race-change operation (that they call a "Negroplasty"), and Kyle's dad has a species-change operation (they call it a "Dolphinoplasty").

Here's a clip:



South Park has been lucky enough in its 13 years to effectively disgrace hundreds of celebrities and illuminate dozens of societal deficiencies. What separates South Park from similar shows that pick on real people is that (in most cases) they go about it fairly, often giving both sides. Some exceptions to this are Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and self-proclaimed psychic medium John Edward. I would argue that this is because Parker and Stone find no redeeming qualities in those subjects as human beings, and that--while they are valued by many--their contributions to society are, indeed, worthless.

I could go on for days, perhaps even start a separate blog, about South Park. Rest assured, there will be much more South Park to come on Laughasaurus.

Movie Monday: Airplane!

At Laughasaurus, we strive to not only bring the laughs to you, but to bring both different kinds of laughs and the pioneers of those laughs.

"Airplane!" of 1980, starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty and Leslie Nielsen, directed by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker, was, upon its release, a pioneer of a new kind of laugh.

Probably the goofiest of the movies selected for Movie Monday so far, Airplane! earns its wings (ha...ha) through quick and short jokes, one after another.

The movie is chiefly a parody film, and though it was definitely not the first (preceded by Mel Brooks' parodies such as "Young Frankenstein" and "Blazing Saddles," among others), picking on "Zero Hour!" from 1957 and "Airport 1975" from 1974.

And although the plot of "Airplane!" is not really all that important--since the jokes sustain themselves independently from the plot--I will give a brief synopsis.

The story follows Ted Striker (Robert Hays), a former pilot now afraid to fly. He follows his former lover Elaine (Julie Hagerty), a stewardess, onto a plane. But when most of the passengers and crew fall ill due to food poisoning, Striker must face his fears and pilot the plane to safety.

Despite the unease that accompanies plane crash-type movies, "Airplane!" is so goofy and ridiculous that you forget the association.

Here's a clip from early on (hint: their names are Roger, Victor and Capt. Oveur)



"Airplane!" is filled with this type of joke, including its most famous line, which made the American Film Institutes top 100 movie quotes of all time at #79.

Striker: Surely, you can't be serious.
Dr. Rumack: I am serious...and don't call me "Shirley."


Laughasaurus worthiness:

What makes "Airplane!" worthy of both your time and mine is the range of type of jokes and humor that it throws at you, consistently in its 87 minutes.

There are pun jokes, like the one in the clip above, dirty jokes, racial jokes (mostly in good taste), parody jokes and jokes like this one, that have no real definable genre, but make you laugh regardless.



Some of the jokes are so stupid, yet so aware of being so stupid, that you can't help but laugh at their stupidity...and the genius behind it.

Weekly Poll Winner: 30 Rock

The results are in and you have selected 30 Rock as your favorite comedy-driven TV show. I can't say I'm not a little surprised, being that the choices were last year's Emmy nominees and 30 Rock won the award.


30 Rock has, in just it's first three seasons, won nine Emmys, including in two consecutive years for Outstanding Comedy series. They have also taken home five Golden Globe awards, including Best Television Series this year.


Produced by the legendary Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels and Tina Fey (among others), 30 Rock follows Liz Lemon (Fey), her boss Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) and the crazy actor Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) and their adventures at NBC studios at 30 Rockefeller Plaza


Liz Lemon is the head writer of an SNL-like sketch comedy program called TGS with Tracy Jordan (formerly known as The Girlie Show, until Jordan joins the cast in the first episode).


Tina Fey does a stand-up job making fun of herself on the show, always pulling out the stops and ready to have a joke made at her expense. But still, Liz Lemon is comparatively normal to the other characters.


30 Rock is one of several successful shows that revolve around one main character who happens to be surrounded by other characters who are different variations of crazy. (Arrested Development, The Office and Seinfeld are other examples.)


Unlike its NBC Thursday night counterpart The Office, however, 30 Rock maintains almost always a light-hearted atmosphere throughout, never creating real drama or making you feel sad or upset about how the episode ended.


One of the great aspects of the show is the relationship between Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy, her self-absorbed executive boss. He often seems to be a bit irritated by the way she behaves (since the two are so different), but you can tell he thinks she's fantastic. Maybe they'll get together by accident on the show someday. Maybe not? (Leave a comment if you want to discuss this topic--I'm interested to see what people think.)


Here's a clip:






The relationship between Lemon and Donaghy is future classic, but another hilariously-written character is that of Tracy Jordan, who plays the lead actor on TGS with Tracy Jordan (obviously), and is just about the last person on a live show cast you would want to have around. He is completely insane, and almost any interaction involving Jordan on the show brings howls of laughter.

In this clip, Kenneth the Page has a date with a blind girl, but is too nervous to talk himself, so he enlists Tracy to be his Cyrano (Also, the "waiter" is named Dot Com). The second half shows Donaghy in confession:

Movie Monday: Annie Hall

One of the great, groundbreaking comedies of all time, Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" was the masterpiece of his own brand of comedy.

Written, directed and starring Allen in 1977, "Annie Hall" took home Oscars in almost all the top categories--Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress in a Leading Role and Best Screenplay (written for the screen). Allen was nominated for Best Actor but was beat out by Richard Dreyfuss.

"Annie Hall" is really the quintessential Woody Allen film, marked by his mumbling, awkward and neurotic comedic style and teleplay that often escapes the narrative and attempts to form a relationship with the viewer.

Just as Chaplin did decades before, Allen wrote for and directed himself in his most successful films, knowing full well that nobody could play the stuttering, intellectual yet uncomfortable Jew as well as he can.

"Annie Hall" follows the life of Alvy Singer (Allen), his failed relationship with Annie Hall (Diane Keaton) and the influences of his life that lead to that failure, which are strangely believable.

As the movie opens, Alvy gives a short monologue to the audience saying that his problem with women is defined by an old Groucho Marx quote. The way Alvy says it: "I would never want to belong to a club that would have someone like me as a member. That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women."

The ability to artfully leave the story and communicate with the audience is not easy to master or perfect. It's difficult enough to make a large group of people laugh at the situation in the movie, but removing yourself to now get a laugh from direct conversation with the audience is a seldom accomplished feat.

Here's a scene from early on in the film, showing almost immediately his irritating personality and neurotic behavior:




Laughasaurus worthiness:

As you may now have noticed, I have begun the first few weeks of Laughasaurus' Movie Mondays by discussing comedies from different decades in progression. First the '30s with "Duck Soup", the '50s with "The Seven Year Itch" and this week, the '70s. My purpose in doing this was to show you the development of the art of comedy in film over the course of the century.

What makes Annie Hall worthy of a post is not only its writing but the way Woody Allen brings out that writing in his neurotic acting. There aren't really any other "funny" characters in the movie; aside from Alvy Singer they're all pretty normal.

The neurotic aspects of Singer's character are the most apparent in him and effectively drive the narrative. Even from a young age, the character of Alvy Singer is neurotic and fatalistic beyond the measure of most adults:



This clip shows Alvy Singer's other major flaw: denial. He almost refuses to accept that anything bad that happens in his life is his fault, and, instead of trying to fix himself, he tries to fix others.

This characteristic is funny in that it creates comedic situations, but it eventually leads to his ending up alone, as he is so resistant to change.

But, as with most movies, the ending result is not as important as the journey. I hope you enjoy Annie Hall.

New Yorker Cartoon - Support Group

Cartoons in The New Yorker magazine have become a staple in it, since the magazine was started in the 1920s.

Their cartoons are almost always shorter stories, told in one frame, and often have just one quote from one person in the cartoon which describes the entire action.

This cartoon by New Yorker cartoonist David Sipress strikes a nerve, I believe, with many of the millions of people who work in front of a computer screen for some or most of their day.

Email has become relied upon so heavily by so many officer workers--like the ones depicted here--that it seems almost like an addiction...hence the "Alcoholics Anonymous" setting for the cartoon.

And the time between email checks is getting shorter and shorter in the past few years with smart phones and 3G networks that basically keep you connected wherever you go, short of the center of the Earth.

What's worse is that every couple of years a new internet social networking tool is developed, which gives you just one more thing to compulsively check throughout the day. Now, one could spend a good 15-20 minutes between email, Facebook, Twitter, etc...just checking up, not only on themselves, but their friends too. Multiply that by a realistic five, 10 or maybe 20 times per day, and you're talking hours.

The more in touch with are with each other, the more we are addicted to the technology that keeps us in touch.




Laughasaurus worthiness:

The kicker: this cartoon was published in The New Yorker on May 28, 2001.

I know, right?

The Onion: Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway

May 5, 2009 | Issue 45•19

WASHINGTON—Taking advantage of the warm spring weather Monday, Vice President Joe Biden parked his 1981 Trans Am in the White House driveway, removed his undershirt, and spent a leisurely afternoon washing the muscle car and drinking beer.

Enlarge Image

Vice President Biden ditched a day of presiding over the Senate to "give the twin cannons some sun."

"This baby just needs a little scrub down," said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. "Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I'm cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue]."

White House aides said that Biden pulled into the driveway shortly before noon, the chorus of Night Ranger's "(You Can Still) Rock In America" blaring from his car's stereo. According to witnesses, Biden spent several minutes maneuvering the Trans Am into the perfect spot, and was observed drumming his fingers on the steering wheel until the song came to a close.

The shirtless 66-year-old then entered the executive residence and greeted employees with a round of high fives and a variety of nicknames.

"Hey, hot stuff, looking good," Biden told a passing aide. "Would you know where I could get a little bucket and sponge action? My mean machine needs to be cleaned."

After acquiring the necessary washing materials, the bare-chested second-in-command returned to the driveway, where he spent several moments staring in apparent awe at the firebird decal on the hood of his car.

Enlarge Image

Biden wipes down the interior, and picks up any loose change, cigarette butts, and discarded condom wrappers.

Biden, who purchased the white Pontiac in 1983, has made an annual tradition of taking time off each spring to wash and tune-up his vehicle. In 2008 alone, the veteran politician reportedly missed two dozen Senate sessions in order to spend some quality time "taking care of [his] baby."

"He does this every year and it really seems to rejuvenate him," Sen. Christopher Dodd (D-CT) said. "Back in 2001, the car was up on blocks in the National Mall, and he was so busy rotating those tires that he bailed on the confirmation hearings for secretary of state."

"What're you gonna do, though?" Dodd added. "That car rocks."

As Biden gently applied a sponge to the hood and moved it in small circular motions across the car's contours, a number of White House interns walked by and caught the vice president's attention.

"She's a real beaut, ain't she?" said Biden, popping open a wide-mouth can of Coors Light and tilting back his head to take a long drink. "Back when Smokey And The Bandit came out, everyone wanted the black paint job, but looking back now, I'm thankful the dealership didn't have it in stock."

"Oops, looks like I got a little brewha in the flavor-saver," added Biden, referring to his wispy, four-day-old mustache. "Any of you girls care to join me for another tallboy?"

Biden then spent the next 15 minutes boasting about the features on his Trans Am.

"They don't make kick-ass T-tops like this anymore, sweetheart," said Biden, shaking his head in exaggerated disappointment. "And check out these gold snowflake rims. They're a real bitch to clean, but they're totally worth it."

"Back in the day we used to call 'em panty-melters," Biden continued. "One babe caught a glimpse of those rims after a Cinderella concert in '86 and she couldn't get into that backseat fast enough. If any of you girls wanna take a ride, just let ol' Joe know."

For the remainder of the day, Biden occupied himself with hosing off his car, giving the side doors an extra coat of wax, and throwing out a variety of items from beneath its front seats, including crumpled-up fast food wrappers, a number of soft packs of Doral kings, an issue of Cheri magazine from 1991, and Senate bill S. 486.

According to White House officials, Biden was still hanging out in the driveway long after dusk, revving the engine at passersby and explaining the intricacies of a turbocharged V-8 motor to anyone within earshot.

As of press time, Biden had convinced Jennifer Britmore, a 41-year-old mother of four visiting from Indiana, to let him show her around D.C.

Laughasaurus worthiness:

This article just seems to strike a chord. Every part of it seems to place you right in front of this actually going on, and watching the new vice president behaving like an obnoxious old man having a mid-life crises a few years too late.

The quotes are characteristic of what some old dude washing his car in his driveway might actually say, but are then placed between the quote hooks of Joe Biden. He usually appears as a friendly and slightly quirky kind of guy, and this article highlights those attributes and enhances them to an extreme.

The Onion has always been great at creating a reasonably normal situation in one of their articles and making it funny by assigning it to a most unlikely figure. The picture alone, of Biden's beer-gutted and tattooed top half, trying to "give the two cannons some sun," is enough to make you chuckle, but as they keep throwing those ridiculous quotes from him, it continues to make you laugh.

Every action--the high fives, the song, staring at the decal, hitting on the girls, referring to beer as "brewha"--feels like it's the most outrageous thing the vice president could be doing (and also makes you wonder why you hardly see Biden in the news, and if he is, in fact, acting like a 66-year-old has-been).

Adding in a quote from Senator Dodd was a nice touch, because you could just as easily see him placed in this article as the main character.

Weekly Poll Winner: Dave Chappelle

Readers! By a narrow margin of one vote, and in the last hour of voting, you selected Dave Chappelle as the funniest stand-up comedian!

Every week, the poll winner will receive a special post, just to show you faithful readers how much I appreciate you stopping by, and that this blog is not completely run by my own opinions.

It just so happens, in this case, that Dave Chappelle was also my favorite of the five comedian choices in the poll, so it gives me pleasure to bring to you the Weekly Poll Winner post.

Dave Chappelle started out with small movie roles in the early 1990s and then a few medium-sized roles (such as "Con Air," 1997), before his break-out success "Half Baked."

"Half Baked" follows Thurgood Jenkins (Chappelle), who is a custodian at a pharmaceutical lab, and his three friends, as they sell marijuana Jenkins steals from the lab, in an attempt to make the bail for their friend to be released from prison before being raped. It may sound immature and silly, but it has some good moments that have given it contemporary classic status among pot-smokers.

Chappelle's fame then skyrocketed when in 2003, he was given his own sketch comedy show on Comedy Central, with primetime real estate. The show brought Chappelle so much fanfare and money that he allegedly could not handle the stress, and was reported to have run off to South Africa to relax.

I would like to be able to show you clips from his stand-up, which are all over Youtube and are most always hilarious; but, they are just as profane as they are funny, and so I will not post them. I will, however, give you some of his sketches, so you can enjoy his own personal brand of humor.

Chappelle often found creative and humiliating ways to make fun of other African-American superstars, most notably R. Kelly, Rick James, Lil Jon, Prince and P. Diddy. He often thwarts many racial stereotypes by beating them to the punch, with characters like Tyrone Biggums, a homeless crackhead, and Clayton Bigsby, a blind white-supremacist unaware he is black.

But sketches like this one prove that his ability ranges beyond making fun at the expense of others, and that he is quite adept at the fine art of parody:

Chappelle's Show
It's a Wonderful Chest
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

Here's another recurring sketch, where Chappelle makes fun of hip-hop artist Lil Jon:

Chappelle's Show
A Moment in the Life of Lil Jon - Flying
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

Laughasaurus worthiness:

Dave Chappelle's worth and comedic genius in his stand-up comes in his apparent effortlessness. When you watch him spit his jokes, you often don't feel like he's giving a performance. It seems like he is just standing there, telling you funny stories about people and situations he has encountered--of course we know they're made up, but it doesn't seem to matter.

His jokes are also so funny on their own that he doesn't need an over-the-top performance to get laughs from his audience.

He also has a very keen, discerning sense of humor, and--unlike some African-American comedians--can easily capture the attention of both blacks and whites, without ostracizing the latter. In fact, one could argue that Dave Chappelle holds just as much appeal among white comedy fans as he does with black comedy fans.

Some of his sketch comedy has become a mainstream part of society for young adults about 18 to 28, for you would be hard pressed to find someone in that range who would not understand the line "I'm Rick James, bitch!"








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Movie Monday: The Seven Year Itch

Directed by Billy Wilder
Starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell

From 1955, The Seven Year Itch's title is not nearly as famous as the half-minute sequence in which the then-29-year-old Marilyn Monroe has her skirt blown up by a passing underground train as she stands on the grate. The movie's comedic brilliance is often overshadowed by the iconic image of Monroe pushing her skirt down--likely the most reproduced image of the ditsy blond bombshell ever.








But don't let that overshadowing fool you. The Seven Year Itch should have a permanent spot on the timeline of cinematic comedy. Women were never so idolized for their beauty as the characters Marilyn Monroe played. Sure, there were women that could make the hair on your arm stand, but Marilyn brought "sexy" to a new level entirely.


The "Seven Year Itch" refers to the idea that a man, once he's been married and settled for about seven years, will start to yearn, or "itch," for the company of another woman. Over the summer in Richard Sherman's (Tom Ewell) seventh year of marriage, his wife and daughter take a vacation, and the busty, irresistible Monroe (who doesn't have a name, she's just "the Girl"), moves in to the unit above. Richard is immediately swept off his feet, and has a series of grand delusions about the trouble he would be in for being unfaithful.


Never hailed for her acting ability, and often notorious for being high maintenance and for having to do (sometimes) dozens of takes of a scene or line before she got it right. According to the Internet Movie Database (imdb.com), it took Monroe more than 40 takes to get the skirt blowing scene right. Still, famed seven-time Oscar-winning writer/director/producer Billy Wilder kept her in his film. He even used her again in 1959 for what would become the most famous film in both their careers: "Some Like It Hot," also starring Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon.


She played similar characters in both films she did with Wilder, as she did in many of the approximately dozen she starred in before her untimely death in 1962. Her characters in these films were often naive, ditsy, and somehow completely oblivious to the affect she has on her male counterparts. Much of the humor of her films, particularly in The Seven Year Itch, was derived from jokes about men essentially tripping on their tongues over her, and her having no idea of why. She often doesn't even realize that the men around her are acting strange, just like this scene from The Seven Year Itch:










Laughasaurus worthiness:

There are two elements that stand out in The Seven Year Itch, accounting for most of the humor content, both of which have been mentioned already. The first is Marilyn Monroe's naivete and obliviousness, and the second is Tom Ewell's imagination. At one point, he talks to a mirage of his wife. He creates elaborate scenarios of his wife coming home and finding out about him having a relationship with Marilyn. I tried to find a clip showing his outrageous imagination, but unsuccessfully, so you'll have to rent the movie to see.

The other worthy element is in nearly every line spoken by Marilyn Monroe. Everything she says is sexy, yet she doesn't seem to know just how sexy she appears to the eyes of her neighbor (and everybody watching the movie). Billy Wilder likely knew this, and likely knew that even though her natural acting ability was (we'll call it) "mediocre at best," he knew that nobody could do what she did just the way she did it.

I highly recommend checking this movie out, because I know it will make you laugh. At Laughasaurus, that's what we're all about!

Final Friday Filet: Dane Cook

"So, if you want to solve a real mystery, go ahead and figure out who's taking my New York Times every Sunday, or better yet, how about why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny..."

-- Dr. Perry Cox, "Scrubs"

Today is the Final Friday Filet, where Laughasaurus will dissect an attempt at humor and (hopefully) prove that, in this case, Dane Cook does not make the cut.

Although my personal opinions do weigh in on this post, I will try and attack it with as little bias as possible. If you think it's too biased, let me know so.

Dane Cook's stand-up jokes and other comedic offerings are, like many comedians, satirical takes on mostly-normal life situations. He invents hypothetical scenarios and builds off of them to the point of apparent hilarity; he also tries to bring out the humor in a situation that may or may not have happened to you before.

But many of Cook's jokes lose their comedic value when you take away the factor of his outrageous performances--his over-the-top gesticulations. For example, in this clip where he talks about what white guys, Hispanic guys and black guys do before a fight:





You can tell the audience is directly reacting to his abrupt and ridiculous gestures, as the laughs only come when he makes one. From 0:13-15 seconds he says: "Everybody's got their own little...??????" The movement garners the laugh. A few seconds later: "You just gotta see them an you know something is going down." The laughs come with the hand movement.


If you were to hold up a laugh meter to this segment, it would reach its highest point when Cook rips off his shirt at the end. Ripping off one's shirt, I would argue, has almost no comedic value.


Now, I can see how a person would think that Dane Cook is a funny comedian, because I appreciate that he's gotten as far as he has doing what he does. However, the fact that he has starred in numerous movies, often opposite women far too beautiful for him, is disappointing to those who see through his false talent.


He's a quote from Cook's stand-up that, if simply read without the aid of his seizure-induced arm flailing, is not even really a joke:


"You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause no one wants to be covered in spaghetti. No. If I'm on a date with a girl and she's very rude, I'd be like, 'You know what?' Pppptthhh! 'Enjoy your spaghetti, you're very rude. Enjoy your spaghetti, cause you're rude.' Pppptthhh!"


This idea could be funny to an 8-year-old, who would also probably go nuts over his active performance, but weighing the spaghetti joke beside a joke like this blurs the line on both his target audience and his achievement:





Of course, there's no way right now to tell if this story is real--comedians make up stories for their jokes all the time--so assuming it isn't real, you're left to wonder why would this man make a joke about accidentally seeing under his father's robe? If, by some miracle, he is telling a true tale, the joke actually belongs to Dane Cook's dad for the punchline, "Some day all this will be yours."


So as not to bore you, I will conclude there and leave the topic open for debate for the next three days, as I will not be posting over the weekend. But based on the single vote he's received in my "Favorite comedians" poll, I believe that many of you would agree. For those of you who thought Dane Cook was funny, I hope you have seen the light.